After two weeks of considering his position at a cost of $3000 per hour to the taxpayer, Dyson Heydon has decided to remain in charge of the Royal Commission into Trade Unions, citing consistency as the main reason for his decision.
“Having one of Tony Abbott’s appointees accept responsibility for his actions and resign from an excessively high paying appointment sets a dangerous precedent for other ‘Captain’s picks’”, said Heydon. “I have therefore decided to ignore public concerns about my lack of impartiality and continue in my role of attempting to find any evidence of union corruption that may help the prime minister improve his woeful standing in the polls. “
Justice Heydon rejected the notion that helping to raise money for the Liberal party to get re-elected could in any way be construed as showing support for the Liberal party.
“Helping to raise money for one political party’s election campaign while attempting to dig up dirt on the unions that contribute to their opponent’s election campaign is in no way biased in my opinion” Justice Heydon stated.
Having ruled himself completely impartial, Justice Heydon is now keen to get on with the job of investigating inappropriate use of funds by unions, as well as holding on to the bucket-load of public cash he’s getting paid to do that job.